Secret

i simply did not know
how far my voice carried
(and weighed or wait?)

i took the pill about
an hour ago a nighttime
remembrance a ritual. a writing.
it's hot in here. hot
and good. thoughts
of a boy. thoughts
of a girl or woman and
no thoughts
of a man. "Man," said i
don't believe in them.

(like a heavenly scene. strange
as it seems.) a history, a memory, a
ghost. And a woman
named Billy. A cyborg
named Bobbie. And.
(that's not all. and never
is. fill in my dreams.
...strange as it seems.)

as for me i would rather be
a cyborg than a ghost
flesh & blood than iron steel.
i would rather the pain
full reality of all the senses
the memories of me.

(wreck) collection is a funny
thing. recollection there.
inappropriate and
useful? harmful and
mundane?

it was necessary
that i was involuntarily
put away.
necessary, tragic,
beautiful. (secret)