leaving him finding her

leaving him finding her

i've forgotten everything so i can remember him
i forget everything so i can create him in her, her in him.
so i can fuck her like i'm fucking him, like he remembers her, me,
the woman he loves, the woman he remembers.
for this, i leave it all behind.
i go in alone with my own pussywillow.
she is my memory of my future past.
the lie i've lived.
the lie i write now.
she is writing me.
and i've only seen her in film.
an actress. a dream.
someone else's life.
beauty in someone else's dreams.
a dream that we all dream.
that beauty that only she possesses.
we only allow her to posses.
we all dream this dream together.
we pray to her - those of us who dream.
we worship her.
'she is mine,' we say. 'she is mine.